[Take: script: 2 flags; morse code transmitter; ‘eats shoots and leaves’ book]
Morning.
Hello; bonjour; hola; guten morgen; bwon jorno.
I’m trying to say hello in several languages, but I’ll stop there before you think I’m Mr Gibson come back in a wig.
And there are many other ways to say hello, not just with words.
The deaf alphabet: [do it]
Semaphore: spelling with flags. I apologise to my Scottish ancestors for using the English flag – this was my little grandaughter’s for the last world cup – not much point in buying Scottish flags for the world cup really.
This is hello [do the semaphore].
Then there’s morse code: [demo the transmitter]: a bulb and a buzzer wired together in parallel, as my physicists will know – they better had. I hope this works – you know what they say about the 3 sciences : if it moves its biology, if it smells its chemistry, and if it doesn’t work its physics!
Here goes: [do hello in morse]
I was going to try smoke signals, like the native Americans used to do, till I remembered the fire alarms in here.
[look at flag]must be something I could have burned around here…
Also , of course there’s just this for hello [wave], though isn’t it strange that we use the same sign for goodbye.
You see, human beings are great communicators .
Written language is even more amazing really.
From 26 squiggly little signs – evolved from pictures, we can communicate any ideas we wish to other people, on paper.
We all learn how to connect the written word with the spoken word.
Except for punctuation – full stops and commas and so on . That is a problem!
This is a book – the title is ‘eats shoots and leaves’, but never mind why, is all about punctuation..
Punctuation is the rhythm of language, like the beats in a bar.
It tells us where to pause , when somebody speaks, etc, etc.
And it really matters, it makes a difference… eh. ‘we had no proper food in the house, so we had to eat the dog’s!!’
You see, there’s an apostrophe in the word ‘dogs’, and without it, it means something quite different!
Which is why, a few years ago, a very clever man called Victor Borge invented a system he called ‘phonetic punctuation’.
He said that although we can see punctuation marks in written language, we can’t hear them when we speak.
So he invented sounds for punctuation marks, which I’ll teach you now.
[Teach full stop, comma, speech marks, dash, exclamation mark, question mark].
You might have guessed by now that this is not completely serious: Victor Borge was a very funny man.
But to let you see how it works, I will read you an excerpt from a romantic love story about 2 sweethearts named Henry and Eleanor…
Do punctuation sounds where [ ] occurs]
Henry and Eleanor were sitting together on a log by the edge of a forest [,] watching the sun go down [.]
[‘’] Henry [!] [‘’] said Eleanor [,] [‘’] do you really [,] truly [,] and absolutely love me [?] [‘’]
[‘’] But of course [,] my dear [‘’] answered Henry softly [.] [‘’] How could you ever doubt me [?] [‘’]
He took her hand [.] [‘’] Eleanor my love [‘’] [,] he said passionately [‘’] will you marry me [?] [‘’]
Her reply was [………]
They joined hands and walked deep into the forest
Where, sadly, they were shot by a giant panda, eating a sandwich and wielding a gun, who then ran away.
[hold up the book again] Because, you see, a panda is an animal which eats shoots and leaves.
It all depends where you put the commas. [.]
Yes, human beings are great communicators .
Stephen Hawking is the physicist – so clever that none of us are clever enough to understand how clever he is. He may be the next Einstein – but when he was a student at Cambridge, he developed motor neurone disease, a wasting illness from which his doctors gave him 2 years to live. Incredibly, he is now 66, is still working on theories of physics, and is still teaching, despite being unable to talk. He communicates by the movement of his cheek muscles, which operates the software on his laptop computer and produces a Dalek sounding voice.
Even more incredible is a man called Jean –Dominique Bauby, a writer who suffered a massive stroke which left him totally paralysed except for being able to move his left eyelash., which he could blink. Incredibly, he dictated a whole book about his condition, called ‘The diving bell and the butterfly’, to a speech therapist in his hospital , using a code involving only the blinking of his eyelash.
These are inspirational examples of the human spirit, and of the human ability to communicate against all odds.
But…. There’s always ‘but’ isn’t there- the very communication which links us to each other , also cuts us off from each other.
I found a website which teaches you to say ‘hello’ in 775 different languages, and that’s not the total number which exist or have existed.
We are cut off from communicating when we cannot speak the same language.
And sadly, it makes humans suspicious, dislike, even start wars against those of different language and culture.
You hear people say ‘I don’t like going to Wales – they talk welsh in the shops!’
Yes dear, that’s because they are Welsh.
Go to Italy, they talk Italian; go to Liverpool, they talk Liverpudlian, it’s a different language.
Go to Glasgow… no, don’t go to Glasgow. You know what the deaf sign is for Glasgow? [demonstrate].
Only kidding. About not going I mean , it’s a lovely place, with lovely people.
But even accents. How many children move to another area and get teased and bullied because they talk different, sound different?
The ability of language to link us to each other is matched by its ability to separate us from each other.
So, be tolerant of people who talk and sound different.
Try the Universal language of the wave or the smile.
It sure beats the knife or the gun.
Stand for prayer. Lord’s prayer/ benediction.
